Domestic Violence is a complex subject. While many understand what it is, they do not understand the dynamics of it. Domestic Violence (DV) involves people who are involved in a relationship with another (in simplistic form) who engage in conflict that involves emotional abuse and many times physical abuse. There is what is commonly known as a “cycle of violence,” with three phases. The Honeymoon phase, where everything is going peacefully; The Tension Building phase, where behaviors or ideas cause tensions to build; and The Explosive phase, where there is varying degrees of conflict based on the behaviors or ideas that caused tension. This stage can vary from verbal or emotional abuse to varying degrees of physical abuse. Overtime, the cycle repeats itself, often increasing in intensity each time. This may happen because past conflict resolution strategies did not work. The cycle continues as each party tries to resolve the issue, though the issue is much deeper than the conflict at hand.
Those outside of the parties involved may not understand what is happening as the cycle evolves from verbal and emotional abuse to physical abuse. People may question why one of the parties doesn’t leave the other. The dynamics to this can be complex, but some of the reasons my include: commitment to the marriage or relationship, religious reasons, lack of financial funds, lack of support, not realizing resources are available and what they are, and even the belief that the person should not have to be the one to leave. There are many reasons people choose (knowingly or not) to stay in unhealthy relationships.
The goal is to see if we can help the persons involved (or ourselves) look at what is the underlying factor(s) causing them to stay in an unhealthy relationship and provide them resources to help address those issues. These issues are fear based. Can you think of a fear in relation to each of the reasons above? This is important for you to do because it will help you provide the right resources for the person(s) involved. For example, if it is financially based, you might provide the victim with information on state victim compensation or a local shelter.
Please leave a comment regarding fears that could be related to the reasons for staying listed above. In addition, please list a publicly advertised national or local (your area) resource. Please do not list any confidential resources. Many people will benefit from your input. Thank you!
** *Please note- your comments may be used for insertion in a future book, article, repost, or other writing. ***
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